Fundamental Truths that we are Learning While We Wait

If anybody knows anything about adoption, there is a lot of waiting.  We joke…”Hurry up and wait!”  While we are yearning to know our daughter and bring her home, we rest in God, knowing that He sees the entire picture.  Because we know that she is living in an orphanage in China right now, the wait is very difficult and we desire to bring her into our loving home.  So, while we wait, we are using this time to learn valuable truths that can transcend to all areas of life that involve waiting. 

1. God is in control.  Amidst all the paperwork and long processes, God is ultimately in control of all of it.  We have a Lord that causes the sun to rise and fall.  “He determines the number of the stars; He gives to all of them their names.  Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; His understanding is beyond measure” (Ps. 147: 4-5).  God’s response to Job during his trials that he experienced is classic.  In Job 38:4-12, God states His authority over all creation since He is the Creator.

2. God’s timing is perfect.  God knows the future and sees all the pieces of the puzzle, while our sights and thoughts are significantly limited.  Romans 8:28 tells us that “all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”  Which brings us to the point that this is God’s story/ adoption, not ours, and we need to be satisfied and trusting that He is all loving and all knowing and completely good!  Psalms 139: 13-16 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.”  God knows the plans for our little girl and our family and we need to just trust in Him. Jer. 39:11 states that God has plans for our future that will draw us to Him and bring Him glory.

3.  God loves her more that we ever can.  We desire to bring our little girl into our loving home, but God is caring for her right now.  He never leaves us or forsakes us and nothing can separate us from the love of God.   Psalms 68:5 lets us know that God is caring for her because He is the “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.”  His love is far greater than we can even fathom. “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him” Psalms 103:11.  We sometimes feel like our little girl needs our love, but must wait, knowing that she has the love of the Father right now covering her until He gives us the privilege to take care of her.  This is so comforting to cling to during our waiting process.  We are just instruments of God’s love that He gives these gifts of children to us!

            4.  It is alright to yearn as long as you remember points #1 through #3.  There are several scriptures where people have longings but they are trusting in God for His ultimate plan.   Ps. 107:8-9 “Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.”  Then also David questions God multiple times in the book of Psalms but is always reminded in the end to trust in our all knowing, loving God.  Ps 13 is a perfect example of this point.

            5.  Only God can give us peace during the wait.  We may seek other things or even stress and worry about things that are not in our control…but it is fruitless.  We need to trust in our Creator knowing that He desires for us to “not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  (Phil. 4:6-7)  Some days (even hours) are better than others with this point but I am being stretched and trying to be satisfied with all these things that God is teaching us.

            The main verses that I am clinging to that sum up all of these points is to “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Ps. 46:10) and Prov. 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”  Things are not in our control, but do we really want them to be??  We have a God that sees all the puzzle pieces and knows all things and desires to bring Himself glory through our adoption process.  We would not want to be anywhere else besides where He has us right now!  In conclusion, all we need to be doing is to “be still” and “to pray without ceasing”.  I know that this has been long but I really desired to let everyone know the truths that can be learned while waiting for the Lord.

Merry Christmas and the Year in Review

   We did not send a letter with our Christmas card this year, but instead provided our blog address. We have not been the best at keeping this up to date, but you can see in the past posts that we have had a great year.  The kids are all doing well in school and their activities.  I will simply provide a few bullet point highlights of a great year:

• We were blessed this past November to celebrate our 15 year wedding anniversary...pretty incredible how time flies!  15 years, 3 kids, and 1 on the way from China!
• To celebrate our 15 years, we returned to San Francisco for the first time since our honeymoon.  Scott had a conference and Nanette tagged along but it was fun nonetheless.  While there, we were able to connect with two of Scott's cousins.
• Scott was promoted to Associate Professor with tenure (a big milestone)
• Nanette has been very busy as a taxi driver--taking the kids to all of their activities.  Bryce played a lot of soccer, Elise played softball and had girl scouts, and Benjamin played baseball and started kindergarten.
• We added a puppy to the family, an 11 pound Shih Tzu named Shelby.

   As I mentioned, we are in the process of our second international adoption.  This time we will be adopting a little girl from China.  We have often received the question why we choose to adopt and even more specifically, why we choose to adopt internationally "when there are children here who need a home too".  The short answer is that we didn't choose to adopt but rather adoption chose us.  As Christ followers, God commands us to care for orphans and widows (James 1:27).  We do not believe that everyone is called to adopt, but we do believe that God wants each of His followers to support and take care of orphans in some form.  A few statistics about orphans: first, it is estimated that there are over 143 million in the world!  Some groups estimate the number could be as high as 200 million, but while the number may not be exact, the fact is there are a lot of children that are living in situations that are not optimal.  If these precious children are not adopted, 10 to 15 percent commit suicide, 25 percent become homeless, 60 percent become prostitutes, and some statistics say that up to 70 percent become hardened criminals.  Every child DESERVES parents and every child NEEDS parents.  We feel like we have been led to make disciples of all nations through international adoption and that is the simple reason why we are going this route.

   Our first adoption was funded solely through the Lord’s provision of enough work for Nanette to provide the necessary resources.  We were able to fund the first adoption without debt, however it took another year or so to replenish our cash reserves with the help of the adoption tax credit, which to our knowledge has been significantly altered for 2013.  The downturn of the economy and the recent changes to the health care system has resulted in Nanette’s work becoming less steady and highly volatile.  Therefore, we will be soliciting donations from family and friends to assist with the expenses associated with bringing home our little girl from China.  We also anticipate that Nanette will stop her part-time work when we bring our little girl home, in order to focus on the attachment/bonding that is critical during the first year home.  This will significantly reduce our monthly income and make it difficult to replenish dipping into our emergency fund.  

If you would like to help, there are two primary ways:
1. Prayer—please pray God would tenderly care for our little girl in China until we are able to bring her home and that God would prepare all of our hearts to be together.
2. Financial support—Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help us pay the remaining expenses to bring our little girl home.

Our church (www.brookhills.org) and Lifesong (www.lifesongfororphans.org) have graciously given a matching grant of $4,000 to help pay some of the fees.  If you would like to help, you can send your tax-deductible gift to Lifesong, a trusted organization administering the funds on our behalf and will pay adoption expenses out of funds received.  There are no administrative fees charged and 100% will go towards qualified adoption expenses.

Please make checks payable to: Lifesong.  In the memo section of the check, please write “preference Bickel #3150 adoption” to ensure the funds are credited to our account.

Mail checks to: Lifesong for Orphans

                          Att: Bickel/#3150

                          PO Box 40

                          Gridley, IL 61744

We deeply appreciate all the support that our family and friends have demonstrated towards our family.  It is exciting to see how God provides for us in this adventure to bring home our little girl!  Hope that all of your families are well and enjoy the Christmas season celebrating Christ's birth. 

“Father of the fatherless...God settles the solitary in a home...”—Psalms 68:5,6    

PHOTOS FROM 2012

Alcatraz

Golden Gate Bridge

Hiking in Birmingham

Family picture

Fishing fun!

Benjamin's first red snapper!

Elise loves dolphins!

Shelby--the puppy

Fall 2012

Time flies when you're having fun!  We have had a fun and busy Fall.  Benjamin started Kindergarten and is doing fantastic.  He starting to read and is constantly amazing his teacher with what he knows!!  He has tolerated the long days at school like a champ!  Elise is doing well as the oldest in the elementary school (3^rd grade) and enjoying her friends and teacher.  She had a fun fall softball season making new friends.  Bryce has made a very smooth transition to the Intermediate school and we are so blessed to have wonderful teachers.  He is doing great in school and has enjoyed another active soccer season.  He just turned 10 on November 23.  Scott and I are amazed that we have a kid in the double digits!! We celebrated our 15-year anniversary this November and we marvel at all the Lord has blessed us with!  We are so thankful for all He has done in our lives.   Scott was a world traveler this fall, going to China in September and Brazil in October, as well as teaching his classes, research and writing grants!  Nanette continues to work 3 days a week and some weekends to raise finances for the adoption.  Her job has slowed significantly reducing the finances coming in, so we are going to have a fundraiser for this adoption.  (We will have more on that later.)  Everything is on track for adoption #2, our dossier was sent to China in October and we were logged-in on November 13.  This date is significant because all documents have been translated and we are ready to receive a referral for our little girl!!!  The family is very excited and we pray for her every night.  We look forward to what this next year holds for our family!!

Some pictures from Halloween:

 Benjamin--black belt

 Elise - veterinarian

Bryce - hobo

From 5 to 6!

Since last summer, Nanette was feeling lead to adopt another child.  We prayed about it over the next year and then in March, we started the process again!!  We individually prayed about what country, whether to go back to Taiwan or try China.  We both felt led to China.  This was really neat to see God’s hand in this because Taiwan would be the easier route, since we were familiar with it, and China would be special needs!  All the kids were so excited and on board, so we started the process with Lifeline.  We recently heard that Taiwan just closed to international adoptions to focus on domestic adoptions.  One more piece of news that solidified God’s hand in this was that our adoption agency gained 7-8 orphanages from China!  Needless to say, we marvel at how God lead us in this plan.  Our homestudy has just been completed and has been sent for approval.  Our social worker estimates we could travel next Spring or Summer!  Please be in prayer for our little girl!! 

It Has Been a YEAR (since the last post)!

Time keeps ticking and we realized that we have not made an update on the blog for way too long!  So here is the summary of the past year….

We added a puppy (Shelby) this year! 

sports, sports, and more sports this year!

We will start with Bryce…he continues to enjoy playing soccer.  It has been exciting to see him excel, develop his ball handling skills and watching the teams actually starting to maintain their positions and play the game well.  Third grade proposed to be more challenging than previous grades because he actually had to learn to study from chapters in textbooks for the tests.  He did very well and loves math.  He took piano lessons the past year, picked it up very fast and was doing great, but by the end of the year, the excitement had worn off and he was glad it was over.  Bryce also played basketball this year and loved it.  He plays it almost every day in the driveway!  In the Spring, Bryce played for 2 soccer teams (one regular season and one ‘competitive’ team), which kept us busy with practices and games, but it was fun.

Bryce playing soccer!!

Elise tried a new sport in the Fall—softball.  She has not been shy in trying new things but is known for not wanting to continue them once started (we don’t let her quit, but we are ALL glad when the seasons end!)   However, she LOVED softball and it was fun to see her get better as the season progressed.  She had some great coaches that helped her learn the game.  Elise played ball again in the Spring and it was amazing to see how her skills improved and her team won the championship!!  Elise also took piano and like Bryce was very glad when it came to an end.  As far as school, Elise loves to read, P.E., and recess, and that about sums it up!

Elise playing softball!

Finally, Benjamin continues to grow and mature physically and emotionally.  It is very encouraging to see how the dynamics in our family has changed.  Bryce and Elise no longer cater to his every need, but treat him more like an equal sibling.  They all play very well together, so we are very blessed in that way!  Bryce and Benjamin tend to play more together outside being bonded with boy interests.  Benjamin went to pre-school 3 days/week and loved his teacher and made a really good friend named Jake.  To hear him talk about his friend was very exciting!  He played Spring tee-ball and loved it!  He can throw a ball unbelievable and all the coaches and parents noticed.  They would question us on where he learned to throw like he does and we can only say that it is a God given talent!  God has blessed him athletically!

This summer has been wonderful, but is passing fast.  We were able to go to Ohio and visit family.  Scott and I were able to get away for a few days to a conference he was attending in San Francisco, which was such a blessing!  We have been to the beach and had quite the experience with fishing and caught record sized grouper and red snapper (for our boat, at least!)  We are so fortunate to have a boat and my brother who knows where to go to catch these huge fish!  One highlight of the summer was the Back Yard Bible Club that we had the opportunity to participate in at the Birmingham Chinese Christian Church.  We had a great turn out and made lots of friends w/ our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Scott’s job is going well with his research and teaching and he just found out that he was promoted to Associate Professor with tenure!  This is a wonderful answer to prayer and so thankful that God granted him this promotion!  I continue to work 2 days a week with my home health company, Amedisys, which is a great blessing as well.  Well, this about sums up the past year.  Stay posted for the next update….big news coming!

It's been awhile, so this one's long!!

SUMMER FUN!!!

Time is flying by, Benjamin has been with us for 10 months.  I can’t believe that we have not blogged since April!!!  We are all doing wonderful and have had a very busy summer. We are so blessed to have Bryce, Elise and Benjamin love each other so much!  The newness has definitely worn off, by the fact that Bryce and Elise don’t give him everything he wants now.  There is some sibling arguing occasionally, which shows he is part of the family!  This summer has been really neat due to all of the “firsts” for Benjamin.  The whole family has loved introducing Benjamin to places and people that are important in our lives.

 Ohio with Ahmah and Grandpa

The month of June, we were on the road 3 of the 4 weeks.  First, we were able to bring Benjamin to OH for the first time to visit Ahmah and Grandpa’s home, where Scott grew up.  This was the first major trip that we have been on since October.  Everything went very well.  Scott and I even got a little (much needed) time away to Denver, CO! 

Bryce with some new friends in Clarkston, GA

Later in June, Bryce and I had the awesome privilege to go serve the Lord on a mission project in Clarkston, GA (right outside of ATL) with an organization called Global Frontier Missions.  Refugees from all over the world are placed here, who have never heard the name of Jesus.  It was a very special week for Bryce and I, and he did great with the early AMs and the late PMs.  He made some friends from countries all over the world like Iraq, Nepal, Tanzania, Burma, Korea, etc.  God is literally bringing the nations to us!  During this week Scott took off work and had excellent father daughter and son time.  I believe this helped Benjamin’s relationship with Scott tremendously to allow him to see that dad can provide his needs as well!

Cousins at Great Grandfather Lex's visitation

Right after we came home from the mission trip, my very special 92 year old grandfather, Lex, passed away, so I headed right back out of town for another week.  Benjamin was able to meet my cousins and many other family members through this experience.  Benjamin was unfortunately not able to meet Lex.  He will be missed, especially by my grandmother Ruth, they were married for 63 YEARS!!

Another new experience was going to our pool to swim.  Benjamin had never had the opportunity to swim, so we had many lessons to learn, like he sinks if he tries to go alone!!  Our first time to the pool, we only had 2 incidents….. not tooo bad, right?

Fun on the boat

Elise lost a tooth at the beach!

My grandparents own a home in Destin, FL and I have been going there since my childhood.  We go there several times each summer, so it has been very special when we went with Benjamin for the first time.  We were able to go in July for the week, which was a great vacation.  He absolutely loves the water.  He loves the beach.  He loves the sand and the swimming.  He loves the boat rides and fishing.  It is hard for him to tell which he like the best.  “I like all of them….”  is a common response we get from him.  Bryce and Elise were so cute when we were getting to our place and wanted him to see everything at once. ‘Look Benjamin, there are the palm trees, there is the beach, there is the water, there is a kite”  It goes on and on and on.  My brother and his family were able to join us while we were there; so all the cousins were able to play together.

 Fish on!

Fish in!

We were also able to go to my parent’s house, on Lake Martin, and let Benjamin see the lake and play on the boat and the dock.  We were able to take a Super Mable (tube) ride, kayak rides, and boat rides, which all the kids love!  Bryce and Elise started to learn to ski, which is so exciting for me!! =)  I even got up for the first time in over a year (paid for it for several days to follow).

 Nanette in action!

Super Mable!

 Bryce in action!

 Benjamin in action!

Elise in action!

So we have had a very special summer.  Benjamin has been doing so much better with his behavior.  The lying has decreased significantly and we are still learning to obey, but what child isn’t???  I do believe I noted a dip in his behavior after all the traveling, so maybe he was missing our home?  Scott and I have to realize that even though Benjamin is not “special needs’, he does have unique and special needs that we need to be aware and conscious of all the time.  He loves to be held, which is hard for me, at 38lbs, and he needs a lot of affection and attention.  I am pursuing to have him assessed for speech therapy b/c he is having a hard time with his “s” and “th” sounds.  He has not been pronouncing the words clearly.  Overall, he is so sweet and kisses me all the time.  He loves to help and share.  He is a great fit for us and he has blessed our family tremendously!  I praise the Lord for bringing him into our family.  I do think back of this time last year with all the painful waiting to go get him.   God has taught Scott and I so much through all this experience and I am sure we have so much more to learn!!

Finally, an update...

Hello to all!

I can’t believe that we have not posted since Feb.!  I guess life has gotten busy with all the ball practices and piano!  We are doing very well.  Benjamin has had some new firsts!  During spring break, we were fortunate enough to have Scott’s parents stay with us the week!  Benjamin was able to get to know and spend time with his grandparents.  It did not take long for him to learn that they are lots of fun!  They kept them busy going to places like Chuck-E-Cheese and multiple other restaurants!  The last weekend of the break, we took a family camping trip to Oak Mountain State Park for one night to “test the waters”.  We went on his first hike to Peavine Falls.  He loved the snacks on the hike!!  Benjamin did really well, especially since this was the first time to be away from our home!  Our family tent camps, so we were aware that this is a strange concept anyway…  God provided the best campsite in the whole park, right at the water at the beach, so we were able to go swimming right at our campsite!  Benjamin, Bryce, and Elise had a blast playing in the water.  We then had the campfire with hot dogs and smores.  Lots of family memories!   Benjamin was reserved and taking it all in, but seemed a little nervous at night.  We made it fun and had him sleep between Bryce and Elise.  All the kids are now wanting to go back again for 2 nights this time! 

 The tent sleeps 12!!

Peavine Falls 

 Good times!

 The water was cold!!

Hot dogs from the campfire!

The morning...probably 6:30am!

Elise had her first Father –Daughter dance with Girls Scouts.  She looked so beautiful and they had a great time with the “red carpet” theme.  She had her hair and nails done and special daddy time!  She has really taken to piano as well!  She started it in March and has progressed so quickly.  She has her first recital in May!  Music has a special place in her heart!

 First bouquet of flowers

Elise loves crafts...

Bryce is doing well in his soccer.  He plays really aggressive and runs from one end of the field and scores!  He has also begun to enjoy reading more.  The “Geronimo Stilton“ series has locked him in and he finishes them fast!  He actually was begging us to take him to the bookstore so he could spend his allowance money to buy some books, which he read in that same weekend!!  I am thrilled to see him into it!

Basketball cake

presents, presents, presents

We were able to celebrate Benjamin’s 4^th birthday in April!!  He wanted a family party at his favorite restaurant.  You guessed it…. McDonald’s.  Due to severe weather and tornados, we were unable to go, but brought it in instead and had a great time at home with the family.  It was so special to have both sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins!  We played musical chairs and listened to music, played chase and hide and seek!  Benjamin wanted a sports/ basketball them birthday, so he picked his cake out and I made it for him!

Easter eggs!

Finally, we were able to celebrate Easter this past weekend and it was fabulous!  What a joy to be able to share the full story of our Lord Jesus dying on the cross on Good Friday, but having victory over death when He was raised from the dead on Easter!  Bryce, Elise and I dyed and decorated Easter eggs to tell of the beauty that Christ can bring into your life.  We did resurrection rolls and found that the marshmallow was gone, representing Jesus no longer in the tomb.  It is so fun to tell all these stories to fresh little ears!

They all get along pretty well!

We had our 6-month appointment at the International Adoption Clinic as well.  (It has actually been 7 months.)  They tested him and found that he is doing very well, almost in the gifted range!  We knew that he was a smarty pants, but now there is proof!  He is doing very well with the language.  We are trying to help him say his “S” and “TH” sounds.  He knows all his letters and sounds as well as his numbers 1-13.  We do still have issues with lying and withholding right answers.  We have actually done a 180 on how we are working with him in this area basically following a book by Purvis called The Connected Child.  I feel like it is getting better, or we, the parents, are handling it better! =)

Wow!  I think that catches us up on everything.  We will try not to wait so long to recap the progress.  Basically, Benjamin is a very happy child and has adjusted very well.  Bryce and Elise still are great with him, but he is definitely part of the family and doesn’t get his way with them all the time like it was in the beginning!