Bickel Blog: week 3

Weekly update (pictures and video at the end)

Sorry for taking so long to get an update posted, but it seems like time is going by too fast. Nanette doesn’t have time during the day to spend typing at a computer, without little hands banging on the keys next to her, and when Scott gets home it’s non-stop until about 930 or so and energy levels are low! Anyway, here we go….

Benjamin is doing pretty well, getting adjusted and showing some very good signs that he is learning that we are his new family.

Language: One thing that we thought was going to be a major hurdle when we were in Taiwan was the language barrier. However, that has gone pretty smooth. We learned a few key phrases in mandarin that were very helpful and now Benjamin is really starting to understand us. He knows his name and with lots of hand gestures and basic words, we seem to be able to get our thoughts across to each other. He can already count to ten and say most of his abc’s. That’s pretty amazing, considering we have only been home about 20 days! We are a little biased, but we think he’s pretty smart!!

Sleep: He still will not willingly lay down to take a nap, but if we know he needs one we simply put him in the stroller, wagon, or car and take him for a short ride and he will fall asleep. One day, I was pulling him in the wagon and asked him if he was tired and wanted to take a nap (in Chinese by the way!) and he told me no…however, 3 minutes later he was out cold. The nighttime continues to be our biggest adjustment, but we are trying to be patient and understanding and let him have more time to adjust and get used to us. He will not let Scott put him to bed and wants Nanette to lay with him in our bed until he falls asleep. When he finally falls asleep, we transfer him to the pack-n-play that is in our room and he usually will sleep through the night without any problems. The nighttime routine takes about an hour or so, but from the different people we have talked to and books we have read, this is really not too bad. The hardest part is that we don’t get as much time together without the kids around and we never let Bryce and Elise spend a minute sleeping in our room. They went to the crib, the first day home from the hospital. However, this is different and we are adapting the best we know how.

Does this look comfortable??

Attachment: All basic care, feeding, holding, taking to the bathroom, etc. is only being done by us and we are staying home as much as possible. When we do go out and he meets new people he no longer puts his arms out for them to pick him up and he looks for us to take care of him. This was hard when Scott’s parents came to visit, but they understood and did great! We think he is showing good signs that our relationship is growing closer each day. It’s still pretty clear that Nanette is “1^st string”, but she’s home all day and he probably never had a male influence in his life. However, he will let Scott take him without Nanette and he stopped crying for “mama” when he is alone with Scott. He understands “I’ll be right back” and seems content when we tell him those things. We know that we have a long way to go to continue to build trust and attachment, but we are pleased with our progress so far.

Bryce/Elise: These two continue to be extremely helpful and have exceeded all of our expectations. We have been very purposeful to give each child attention and Scott has been taking Bryce on “guys nights out” and Elise on “dates”. It usually involved donuts or ice cream, so he may need to ramp up their exercise! Overall, they are doing well and received excellent report cards for the first 9 weeks (and they missed 2 of them!).

We appreciate all of your interest in our “boring” lives, please keep praying for us and we love to hear from you!