Home 10 days--December 15, 2013

Not sure what she was trying to write, but it looks important!

We have now been home for about 10 days and are getting settled into Central time and our usual routines of school and work.  It was a little rough the first few days that Nanette was home alone with Olivia, as she likely had not been alone for quite some time.  At the orphanage, there are kids everywhere all the time!   Everyday we are learning more about each other.  Consider Olivia’s perspective—she has arrived in a new country where everything is different: food tastes different, things smell different, everything looks different, the language sounds different…there are very few things here that are familiar to her.  Thankfully, she is very comfortable around us, or should I say the other kids.  She definitely likes the other kids more than us right now, but I suppose that is to be expected.  However, we are making progress and she has come to expect us to take care of her needs: bath, food, clothes, etc. 

We arrived home on a Wednesday and she literally did not leave the house until Monday.  Since then, we have taken her out to the store, to pick the other kids up from school, and a few other places.  We had a breakthrough when she wanted to go with Scott to drop Bryce off at basketball practices.  We’re not sure if she wanted to go with Scott or Bryce, but either way it was a good sign.  We have also learned that she fits right in with the other females in the house—in that she is NOT a morning person!  She usually wakes up a little groggy and takes some time to get warmed up to everyone.  However, the flip side is at night, she is usually in a good mood and likes to have fun.  Overall, we are making progress albeit slow. 

To address some of the common questions we get:

1.  Language—she is learning English and seems to understand a lot of basic things that we ask her.  We do not get a lot of words spoken back to us, but she does say our names, the dog’s name, and she is saying some other words here and there. Interestingly, a good friend gave us a DVD with some children’s songs all in Chinese and she seems to love it—smiling, singing, and laughing.  However, she doesn’t sing when we look at her…if we leave the room or ignore her, she will sing away.

2.   Sleep—she and Elise share a room and they are both doing well. We had a rough first 4-5 days, but she has settled into a routine and is now sleeping in her own bed, through the night without any issues. 

3.  Eating—she is very picky about what she eats and could probably eat ramen noodles 3 times/day.  However, we are trying to get her on some healthy food so we are limiting the ramen noodles to once/day!  Olivia will eat fruit and we have some Chinese snacks like seaweed and fish flavored crackers, so these can tie her over while we find other foods. We have been encouraged that she is starting eat more protein.  Nanette made some congee (rice porridge) and she does like this with some meat or tofu.  She is slowly getting accustomed to the food.  For comparison, when we were in China and eating their food all the time, our kids really didn’t care for it and wanted “American” food by about the 3^rd or 4^th day.  So we have tried to make foods that she likes, add tons of salt, and hopefully that makes her feel more comfortable!

Very sweet girl, however, she won't do this if she knows we're filming.

Reflections--Friday, Dec. 6, 2013

Well, we have returned home for two days.  All the kids did great on the trip home.  It took a total of 27 hours traveling and the kids did actually sleep some on the long flight!  It was so fun to see and hear Olivia’s excited squeals when she had the window seat on one of the flights!  Bryce, Elise and Benjamin have returned to school and they are actually ahead of their class because they did all of the work that the teachers sent them in China.  This is a blessing so they can be with Olivia when they return home from school and not have to do homework!

Olivia has had some regression since we returned home, which was expected.  This is yet another change for her.  She may have thought that the hotel in China was our home and now we are in a new place.  In summary of our experience, she progressed so much in China.  She went from kicking and screaming to no tears the last 2 days in China!  She has such a sweet spirit and a fun personality.  I know that she will be fine in a few weeks!  On Thursday morning when the other kids went to school, she cried some soft silent tears because it was the first time our family has not been all together and it may have been the first time she was alone.  Guess mom is not as much fun!! =) She did perk up after lunch and saw some smiles and laughter!  She was so excited when the kids returned from school!  It warms my heart to see her so happy!

With this to say, we had a very LONG night last night.  She was awake from about 12-4 am crying hard off and on.  The positive thing is that she clung to me and allowed me to comfort her some….  While we were pacing the room, I had some reflections and some silent tears as well.  It is heart wrenching to see her hurting so badly.  It is not supposed to be this way.  She should NOT be having to experience this.  She should be with her biological parents.  God’s original plan did not intend for there to be orphans…for kids to be abandoned!  It is because of sin, our sweet Olivia is hurting so badly right now.  We are so excited and blessed to have her in our family and God ordained her life to be with us, but when God created the world, there was no sin, there were no orphans.  This situation so closely resembles our relationship with God.  When He created the world, it was perfect and we were in one relationship with the Lord. (Gen 1:31) It was because of sin, that relationship was broken.  Without Christ, we are all orphans!  Sin separates us from our Heavenly Father. Praise the Lord that HE has conquered sin and restored our relationship with Himself through Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection.  His death has covered our sins and restored and reunited our relationship w/ our Heavenly Father!  (Rom 5: 8-11)  We are all His adopted children (John 14: 18-21) when we have this relationship with Christ.  (Rom 8: 15-17)  Just as our relationship with God was broken, Olivia’s relationship was broken from her bio parents, but she now has been restored to a family with loving parents.  I am so thankful that we have a loving God that restores relationships with Himself as well as for the adopted child.  Please pray for God to heal Olivia’s heart and give her peace and comfort during these next few days/ weeks.  We love her so much, and God is the ultimate comforter and healer!

A better day

Today was our best day yet with Olivia. I won't lie, it has been hard. She has cried a lot and rarely let's Scott even touch her, except to brush her teeth, put her shoes on, and blow dry her hair. We have heard many similar adoption stories and know this will change once we get on our "home field".  We'll let the pictures describe our day.

Visiting a park in Guangzhou 

 Feeding the fish at the hotel

Beautiful! 

 4, what have we done?

 Finally, the playful side.

 Having fun with Elise

Zhuhai—November 29, 2013

Imagine the day, you are a three year old little girl, driving down a beautiful road with one of your parents.  The road is known to the locals as “Lover’s Road” because it is so beautiful and scenic.  However, for this little girl, it will not be a fun time because you will be left behind.  That’s right, abandoned.   That’s part of the story for our little girl and unfortunately, the story for so many orphans around the world.  For whatever reason, the parents find themselves in a situation where they believe their child will be better off with strangers than with them.  Who knows why people do this, but in every situation it is tragic.  However, God can use these situations to do great things.  Take the biblical story of Joseph…his brothers tried to get rid of him because they didn’t like him, but God made him ruler of Egypt.  And he told his brothers, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Gen 50:20).  We don’t know the reason why Olivia’s biological parents dropped her off at the pier, but we know that God has another plan for her life. 

Today we had the opportunity to visit both her finding location and her orphanage.  The orphanage looked very nice on the inside: bright colors, lots of kids’ art hanging on the walls, smiling faces of the workers.  It actually looked like any elementary school in Birmingham.  However, the truth is that these kids live without parents that give them lots of love.  No one to teach them about Jesus or right from wrong or that they can do anything in this life.  So, even though these pictures look bright and wonderful, it’s not a wonderful place.  170 kids live there, but now it’s 169!  I tried to be sensitive and did not post any of their faces.

 The track

 Playground

 A little unsure of what to do.

 Artwork

 More artwork

 A teacher that really cares for Olivia

Olivia's room.

To those of you that have been praying for Olivia to handle the day well…she did. She was very quiet (but it seems that is her personality) and took a little time to warm up to her old friends.  She seemed to be very well liked by her classmates and the teachers were so happy to see her.  One was very sad to see her go, but she knows that she is going to a better place…a family.  She shared a room with 11 other girls and right next door were 12 boys.  The beds were lined up next to each other and were basically a pad on top of plywood, not very comfortable, but all they know.  It was sad for us because Olivia told her caregivers that she has been cold with us, but she wouldn’t put on all the clothes that we tried to put on her.  So while we were there, they put another pair of pants on her, 2 layers.  They told us “she is very skinny, so she needs 2 layers on her legs”.  When we left, you could tell she was sad, but she didn’t cry and went willingly, holding Nanette’s hand.  What a praise!

Overall, the day went very well and was not as emotional as we thought it would be, while at the orphanage.   The orphanage workers and teachers have done a good job of preparing Olivia for us and they know that families are the best place for children.  It was a little sad to see the faces of so many other orphans, but maybe God will place them in a family soon.

Upon return to the hotel, she became very upset and cried hard for about 2 hours with nothing to console her, not even the typical walks around the hotel. However, she did cling to Nanette and sobbed on her shoulder.  We believe that she held it together all day and finally lost it to grieve the reality that she was not returning to her familiar friends and what she knows as “home”.  God was again gracious and ended the night with smiles and laughter.  We know that this is very hard for her and will love her through this trying time of change.  This picture so reminds us of how God handles us in our times of grief.  He is always there to comfort us and allows us to cling to Him.  He will never leave us in both the good and trying times of our lives.  His love for us is the only way that we can pour out our love for Olivia, and we KNOW that His love is everlasting!

We had the opportunity to have lunch with one of Scott's friends.  A long story but they met on a trip to another part of China in 2011.  Olivia is smiling!

Day 2--It's official in China

Sorry pictures won't upload...maybe tomorrow...

Today was a tough day.  Olivia slept well, she got up at around 8 or so and we had to be ready to go at 9:30.  So, we all went for breakfast and because it was so crowded at the regular restaurant, they “upgraded” us to the 30^th floor restaurant…quite a view from the top!  We went back to the civil affairs office to complete the adoption paperwork, where she started to cry again.  She continued crying softly throughout the meeting, but according to China, everything is official and we are her parents. The rest of the time here is applying for a passport and getting her visa to return to the US. 

We had the afternoon off, so we came back to the hotel for lunch and a rest.  Olivia ate a nice lunch (she didn’t eat much for dinner or breakfast) and then said she was tired so we put her down for a nap.  Scott and Bryce went to workout and Olivia got up and started to cry again.  She basically cried all afternoon.  Not a screaming and kicking cry (like she did the first day), but more of a long whimper with lots of tears.  We tried everything to get her to stop, but to no avail… We knew that we were making progress because she wanted Nanette to hold her, but would not even let Scott touch her.  We took her out for a walk and she had a hard time with everything. After dinner, we were sitting in the room and Scott was being extremely silly trying to count in Chinese with her and finally got her to laugh and smile.  She even said some words, counted to 10 in English and Chinese and sat in his lap (she didn’t want to even hold his hand today).  We then ended the night with a shower and a game of bop the balloon, which she played and looked like she was having fun.  God is so gracious to allow us to get a glimpse of her sweet personality at the end of a grueling emotional day!

Family worship time: Each night at home we have a time as a family where we read the bible, pray, and talk about the blessings in our lives.  Each child is expected to say one blessing that they received and one blessing that they did for someone else.  When we were doing that last night, Olivia was having a hard time and upset (as expected).  The amazing thing about this is that she received a huge blessing that day and didn’t even know it.  She got a mom, dad, 2 brothers and a sister that day…but was very upset and sad.  We constantly tell the children that, “we are blessed by God in order to be a blessing to others.”  That day, Olivia was blessed by getting a family, but she blessed us all by coming into our family…and she didn’t even know it! Isn’t that a picture of each of our lives every day?  God blesses us and we often gripe and complain; yet He still does it and we often don’t even recognize it.  Adoption is simply a picture of the Gospel, continually reminding us of our relationship with the Father.

Gotcha day--November 25, 2013

Olivia Ruth Bickel

Well, we finally got to meet Olivia in person today.  We started out the day with a meeting of about 9 families picking up children.  Some of them had >10 children, one family was picking up #18!!  We felt like rookies with only 3 kids so far!  After the meetings and some lunch, we arrived at the Civil Affairs office to pick Olivia up. They just call your name and bring your child out in the middle of a lobby.  So there are people everywhere with kids screaming, camera flashes going off, basically total chaos!  When it was our turn, Olivia came out looking very timid and shy and then when they gave her to us, she had a total meltdown...cried for about 90 minutes. We tried everything to distract her, the other kids tried as well, but she simply could not be consoled.  Elise got a little emotional and Olivia noticed that and started to calm down a bit and eventually made a little connection with Elise.  When we finally moved out of that room and started to head back to the hotel, she calmed down.  We showed her around the room, the kids tried to get her to play some games, but she was in a bit of shock and "shutting down".  During dinner, Scott got a half smile out of her, Nanette gave her a shower, and she seemed to be relaxing a bit.  We have no idea what to expect tonight, but wouldn't be surprised if she woke up screaming at 2am or slept until 9...who knows!  Thanks everyone for your prayers and support, please keep them coming.

Busride back to the hotel...3 Bickel girls.

Beijing

We arrived here on Thursday around 3pm local time (1am CST).  All of the children did great on the long flight, keeping busy with books, schoolwork, movies, and the rainbow loom (only those with elementary school kids likely know what that is).  We are staying with our good friend, Jenny, who recently moved here in September to work at a new rehabilitation hospital.  The next day we visited her work, Scott gave a lecture, and he got to reconnect with a visiting professor he had in 2010.  She now works at the new hospital with Jenny...is that a small world or what?!

First dinner in China with some tired kids!

Nanette and Jenny at Tiananmen Square (with a couple photo bombers!)

Day 2 was a big day.  First, it was Bryce's 11th birthday.  How many kids from Alabama can say that they spent their birthday in Beijing, climbed the great wall, visited Tiananmen square, ate Peking duck, and saw the Bird's Nest.  Now that's a full day! See a few pictures below...

 Family at the Great Wall

Happy 11th Birthday! 

Holding a plaque with his name and date stating he had climbed the Great Wall.

A picture of the crowd taking pictures of us.  Rock stars in China!

Why would you want this picture if you don't know us?

We had a nice visit in Beijing, really got a nice taste of life in China.  We rode the subway and buses, often having no room to breathe!  Monday 11/25 is our "Gotcha Day", the day we get Olivia, and become a family of 6.  We will try to post some pictures of it tomorrow.  

Here we go!

Olivia Ruth Bickel--get ready!

Many of you may know that we received a referral for Olivia Ruth, our 5 year old little girl, on August 9, 2013.  Since then, God has sped things up drastically.  We are heading out tomorrow, Wed, 11/20/2013, to bring her home.  We have been so humbled and touched by all the support and love that has been pouring out on us here recently and would love to tell you again how grateful we are!  From friends helping me decorate Elise and Olivia’s  room to organizing meals when we return, but the most touching has been all the prayer support we have received from our church and friends.  God has “moved mountains” to get us to China before the unexpected closure of the consulate on Dec. 5!  We received the call one week ago today to let us know that we have been approved to go and have a consulate appointment on Dec. 2.  We had all of our friends praying that we could bring Olivia home before Dec. 5 and He answered that prayer with a resounding YES!! 

Excited for a new sister!

God has provided for our family in such amazing ways throughout this adoption and it has been really amazing to watch His plan unfold.  He has provided in all ways: from the finances to the perfect timing for the kids school, so that they are not missing as much as we thought!  Then an added bonus is that we are blessed to visit our friend who lives in Beijing and encourage her.  God is so good!!  He has even taken care of the smallest needs from selling our GA/KY tickets that we bought months ago b/c it was on Bryce’s birthday (had to scramble for another present idea…) to providing, through a friend, an “ergo” carrier!  God’s hand has miraculously been intertwined in this whole adoption. 

So now the real story begins….  We meet our precious girl, Olivia, Monday, Nov. 25 and we bring her home on Dec 4!!  Here are some prayer needs:  safe travel, health of everyone, Olivia's heart to be comforted during this transition (God to give her peace, strength, comfort), smooth transition for all family, Benjamin specifically to have God continue his healing process and strengthen his bond with the family and to rise to the occasion as an older brother, wisdom for parenting and to support Olivia as well as Bryce, Elise and Benjamin in any way that they need, all processes to go smoothly (no bags lost, paperwork, appointments, etc.)  =).  Thanks and we will keep you posted on our adventure…